427 in idea barrages

1.) Nothing like a marathon nightmare about watching time travelers try to prevent World War Two, changing nothing in the broad strokes of the outcome but remixing the smaller details then their equivalents from that new timeline trying the same thing, over and over again, in a cycle. I need to switch back from melatonin to Tylenol PM, you guys.

2.) There’s the carrot & the stick. 35 years of trying to make big business better citizens with the carrot have failed miserably. Go stick.

3.) Sometimes I just like to think how there’s a spooky skeleton inside each of us & every day we live is a day we’ve defeated them.

4.) Bob Ross shows were like watching a magic trick where everything was explained but you still didn’t know how it worked. On Quaaludes.

5.) Whenever I see a movie with an unhappy couple, I imagine their wedding when they thought this was gonna work or, at least, were pretending.

6.) Pronounce everything the way some people pronounce “Target”. Call your regrets “regrays”. Really annoy the hell out of people.

7.) A fun curse to place would be to condemn someone to yell “GORDON’S ALIVE!” in Brian Blessed’s voice every time they orgasm.

8.) The best backhanded compliment I have for myself is that I have the world’s least significant fully legitimate IMDB profile.

9.) Every Trump speech, all I wanna do is play that “this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause” clip from the SW prequels.

10.) Interestingly, the Information Age ended up helping us be MORE ignorant through access to false information that reinforced our ignorance.

11.) Does my Twitter tonight make it clear that I’m disgusted by primary season and am watching a Bob Ross marathon to blot it out?

12.) I am just old enough to remember the ICQ “uh-oh” sound and just young enough to want to hear it as a sample in a hit song.

13.) If jocks thank God when they win, they should blame Satan when they lose. “That interception I threw, I blame The Devil.” That’d be awesome.

14.) If you own a brothel targeted specifically at goth clients and you don’t call it “The Boneyard” you have failed at your job.

15.) If you’re addicted to the early work of John Waters, you may require Divine intervention.