425 in idea barrages

1.) Is there any way to start dating but skip the awkward early parts, cut to the comfortable-with-each-other thing? I’d love that right now.

2.) You know what they say. When you’re pedantic about the nature of peanuts, “u” get a “leg” up on boring the hell out of “me”.

3.) Start a line of really conservative unflattering lingerie called Victorian Secret.

4.) Start a punk band called Rude McLanahan.

5.) The second they legalize recreational marijuana, start a pot brownie delivery service called Edible Derangements.

6.) Whenever Manhattan-centric snobs refer to “The Outer Boroughs” I hear “Ouroboros” and wonder where the tail-eating snake is.

7.) I always mishear Sublime’s “Summertime” & think he’s name checking the woman who played Ginger on GILLIGANS ISLAND, Tina Louise.

8.) Rice Krispies ads would be a lot better if Snap Crackle & Pop were all played by Crispin Glover & if we called it Rice Crispins.