130 in idea barrages

1.) Ponder what it really means to drive a car in your brand-new existential Chrysler.

2.) Money is also a social construct but that doesn’t make it go away either. There’s work to be done.

3.) More like National Lampoon’s VAGUEST Vacation, amirite?!

4.) If your roleplaying character is about to try and run really fast yell “feats don’t fail me now!”

5.) Is it really “fashion” if the model is wearing something you can’t wear practically in public? Isn’t it just “costume-walking”?

6.) I am glad that people like the Supernatural show but for 83% of all twitter statuses to be about it is a tad much.

7.) People SAY that there are actual Brony Juggalos but I’m not sure you have that little self-awareness & still be able to breathe.

8.) Kickstarter would be more fun if they were required to hand over the money in big cloth bags with dollar signs on them.

9.) A goat belching sounds exactly like a man in a fedora referring to a Gamespot clerk as “m’lady”.

10.) If you swapped the power-sets of Robocop and Inspector Gadget both would be infinitely more interesting.

11.) On the subject of Kanye West, the new slang for the b-hole should DEFINITELY be “the dog park”.

12.) Sunshine is for flowers and joggers and I ain’t either of those.

13.) Moses supposes his toeses are roses and Moses is paying science textbook makers to spread this counter-factual argument.

14.) At the start of sex, Richard Nixon would yell “Richard’s prick’s in!” like a superhero battle cry.

15.) “You know how magicians will often have a devoted animal friend?” “No, I’m unfamiliar.”

16.) America went to bed business-casual & woke up business-casualty. That’s the business of business, that’s business causality.

17.) Kanye West doesn’t listen to vinyl, he prefers it digital.

18.) Every wrap party should be legally required to involve the ironic involvement of a rapper.

19.) A video game where you go around freeing slaves who were forced to build World Cup soccer stadia. It’s called “Qatar Hero”.

20.) It was easy to tell which dinosaurs were herbivores, they’d never shut up about it.

21.) Were The Bard alive today, he’d go easier on lawyers and turn his attention to advertisers instead.

22.) As much as we hate Comic Sans, you gotta admit it’s still better than Horatio Sanz.

23.) I want a movie about Ted Cruz being a Canadian double-agent called “The Manitoban Candidate”. AND PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!

24.) Donald Trump is now officially Poochie in Itchy and Scratchy. Even when he’s not around, everyone’s like “Where’s Poochie?”

25.) Fortune favors the bold. 4Chan favors sexism.

26.) I’ll vote for Hil if she’s the nom but it’s fascinating she’s making the EXACT SAME MISTAKES against Bern she did against Obama.

27.) Whenever possible, pronounce the word “warthog” as “war thog”. It’s the most metal way to say it. WAR THOG!

28.) Your anime-soundtrack cover band is named “Pem Totty And The Limit-Breakers”.

29.) Making a pan sauce brings back fond memories.

30.) Three Greek soldiers try to balance raising their daughters with the invasion of Troy in FULL HORSE.

31.) They called Internet Explorer “IE” because that was the sound you made when you saw how ugly it was. “Eyeeee-EEE!”

32.) Former President Clinton’s pick-up line is “Netflix and Bill?” and it works most of the time.

33.) The word “fat” is just a spatial slur.

34.) Delusionally pretending that the prequels weren’t so bad was the real fandom menace.

35.) Make cinnamon cookies in the shape of hipsters. Call ‘em Cinnamon Man-Buns. Make a couple bucks.

36.) Wear a dress covered in birds. Say it’s your frock of seagulls. Punch people who don’t laugh.

37.) The Inuit are like “Chill and chill”.