1127 in idea barrages

1.) Nightmare included: bafflingly complex scratch tickets, trapped in an evil amusement park, tooth loss, broken glasses, terrorist attacks.

2.) I’m thankful for the family and close friends who continue to help me through this rough patch and the 4th and 5th chances I hope to get.

3.) They really only erased Spider-Man’s marriage so that they could make the “swinging bachelor” pun a thousand times.

4.) Let’s pretend that when these jerks go on about Black Friday, they mean the King of Make-Believe’s funky detective cousin.

5.) Eventually she couldn’t bring herself to sleep with either Chang OR Eng, her pride demanded a man who was otherwise unattached.

6.) You drink it to negate your Thanksgiving binge. It’s Anti-Gravy Tea. It’s… pretty terrible.

7.) My latest pitch to the erotic fan-fiction community: Tolkien-style elves help Santa make toys. Then it gets steamy.

8.) Gentle flirty spanks should now and forever be referred to as “thigh fives”.

9.) Two really solid band names would be “Skillet Full of Dust” and “Santa and the Earth Children”.

10.) When we do finally go to Mars, I hope German rejects joining the coalition so the headline can be “Deep Space Nein”.