1121 in idea barrages

1.) Your Tinder picture is Sting in DUNE. Your reality is Baron Harkonen in DUNE. Welcome to the nerdiest tweet ever.

2.) That’s high-grade endo in Santa’s pipe. That’s how he dilates time to get to all the kids.

3.) Actually, the Republicans COMPLETELY understand that what they’re pitching is actual fascism. Because often fascism grabs power, sadly.

4.) If you can only read minds in northern California, your superpower is that you’re a hellapath.

5.) First they came for the Muslims but you didn’t worry you were Christian. Then they came for the Latinos but hey you were white…

6.) Fashion a bunch of those “Caution: Filling Is Hot” microwave sleeves into a jockstrap.

7.) Sometimes I just feel like a big squishy meat-cage I keep my ideas in.

8.) I would love to battle abstract concepts as one battles rubber dinosaurs. Hobo Code versus Diner Lingo… go!

9.) The two acceptable answers are MR. MAGOO’S CHRISTMAS CAROL and EMMETT OTTER’S JUGBAND CHRISTMAS.

10.) That English razor is built like a Brit Schickhouse.

11.) I feel like I should start pitching myself as “handsome but not so handsome you gotta worry or be jealous all the time”.

12.) When we say we’re watching football we’re actually watching the last half hour of BIG FISH on loop and crying. You ladies need to know this.

13.) I talk about the dog all the time because he is flawed and interesting. Felix the Cat is simply awesome and it would just be repetition.

14.) A JJ reboot of The Next Generation, only if John C Reilly plays Miles O’Brien. That is a condition full-stop.

15.) She’s allergic to nihilism and, believe you me, that’s nothing to sneeze at.

16.) To be honest, I probably can’t take you all the way down to Funkytown but we’ll get to the western suburbs and those are pretty cool too.