69 in idea barrages

1.) “Why are you avoiding me? I just want to criticize you mercilessly for hours on end, why are you hiding from me?!”

2.) Your nerdcore band will be called the Grue Tang Clan.

3.) Goonies gave us all the dream of The One Big Score that fixes everything. Can’t shake it. It lingers with me.

4.) Closeted frat boys from rival houses fall in star-crossed love. Priest can be the campus E dealer. “Bromeo and Julian”. Film it.

5.) A steam-goth stage magician would have to go by the stage name “Trent Mezmer”.

6.) One day the Herkimer Lowes is just gonna float away and they’ll all claim they never could’a seen it coming.

7.) Sometimes I just wanna be a Mycroft Holmes of popular culture, absorbing it, analyzing it, reporting why it is awful.

8.) How there was never a Guardians of the Galaxy/Samsung Galaxy phone advertising tie-in, I’ll never know.

9.) Jesus probably knew the sad fact that people were going to wage war in His name but all the terrible music probably shocks Him.