June 1994 in 1990s

THURSDAY, JUNE 30, 1994
Wow! It’s so much cooler in this house than it has been in a few weeks. Especially in my room. Tom switched over to the AC till we get the other EC going.

I put the wedding card that came with the candlesticks my folks sent in the back of this book.

I’d like to write more, but first I’d like to go make some coffee and see what the talk topic is on Jerry Springer.

Later…

Now that was both spontaneous and fun! Tom came in and laid down with me cuz my lungs were a little tight. After whacking my back he went down there.

Later…

Tom’s leaving for work real soon, and I’m surprisingly not too tired. I’m probably going to listen to music soon.

Boy, has it been unusually hot with temps of 115º daily. In Laughlin, they hit 125º! In Lake Havasu, they hit 128º! God, I hope that never happens here. If I could pick the same low and high every day, I’d pick a low of 70º and a high of 110º. That’d keep the pool comfy. It’d also hopefully keep it as quiet as it has been all year round. Maybe keep the kids next door permanently in Idaho. It has been so quiet here and sooo nice. Oh, I hope it stays this way!

Today we’re ordering Denise Austin’s 1-2-3 Tone Up. I can’t wait to do it and I know it’ll be so much easier for me to stick to. Those other videos I have are just too much and too overwhelming. This should cut to the chase.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29, 1994
Uh-oh. It feels like my tooth is wiggling more.

So, how’s videography going? Well, Tom’s making a program that’ll make it plainer and simpler. The idiot who wrote the program we have is definitely stupid and they obviously like to confuse people. Also, the movie I taped is of lousy quality, therefore the pictures are grainy. The Guardian tape is top-notch, so that’s why its pictures came out clearer. We don’t have a video processor, either. I’m going to try to find this movie in a video store. Tom printed a picture of Andy performing. This was from when we were in the finals at the Frontier. It’s shitty, but there’s nothing we can do.

I also finished Andy’s 3-page letter, so I’ll mail that out tomorrow, along with letters to Bob and Kim.

I made spaghetti and two sandwiches for Tom.

His birthday could’ve been a lot better, but he had lots of errands and an upset stomach.

The house is officially ours today and we mailed out the insurance forms, in case I forgot to say. I still have to change my license, get a new SS card, and a new doctor God, do I hate having to start all over with a new doctor!

We went to Christown Mall and Tom got a dress shirt, new shoes, and a tie cuz he has a job interview tomorrow.

We went swimming today and that’s about it.

Later…

I got two packages from Mom and Dad today. One with the jewelry and another with silver candlesticks. There were about 5 rings that were nice but didn’t fit. I have on a really nice gold bracelet, and there are a few other necklaces and earrings they sent that are really nice. She enclosed a note saying the dishwasher is to come. I can’t wait for that.

Tom and his brother David (now my brother-in-law) brought the EC over. We hope to have it set up in a few days.

Should I go for a swim right now? Sure. Why not?

TUESDAY, JUNE 28, 1994
Good fucking God! I thought printing pictures would be a breeze now, but no. I’m having trouble with picture sizes, clarity, and all kinds of other shit. I need to work with Tom a while longer till I can be on my own, but will he have the time? We’ve got a lot of shit going on that we both have to take care of.

I have to get a new SS card, a new license, and a new doctor. Plus, his sister Mary’s getting married on July 16, so I’ve got to be prepared for that. I think this Sat. she’s supposed to be having a family get-together, too.

I’m so confused with videographing that I’m not even sure how to word or describe my questions to Tom. Well, if I can’t ever learn how to do it on my own, then so be it.

I got 3 Bob letters today but was too lazy to type his or anyone else letters.

I typed up #38 & #39. So, that leaves #’s 40, 49, 52, 53, & 62 to type up first since they should go faster. Also, #41 and a few others may go faster cuz there are letters written in them. This is before I put all my letters into their own books. I will not be typing up any letters.

At about 7:00 last night I gave Tom his birthday letter and his two pairs of shorts. Thankfully, he really liked them a lot and doesn’t need to get them exchanged.

Since I don’t know how to bake a cake, and it’s too hot for that anyhow, I made up some pudding. He found the candles and put them in the fridge. I stuck them in the pudding.

Well, I guess that’s all for now.

Oh, Tammy got the video. She said it was beautiful, but she felt bad cuz no one was there, but as I told her, that’s what we wanted.

MONDAY, JUNE 27, 1994
Boy, has it been hot! It’s been holding a steady 114º for nearly a week now. The only time it’s comfortable in here is very late at night. That is, till we build the EC that’s going in the back room.

I did a lot of swimming today and so did Tom. He also mowed and worked on the sign program.

We went over and filled out the health insurance forms, too.

Last night I typed Tom up a little birthday letter. I hope to hell I can find candles around here. I don’t know how to bake a cake or care to in this heat. However, I know he loves pudding. I was going to make some up and stick candles in that. They’ll hold. Let me go check to see if I can find any candles.

Later…

Shit. Can’t find any candles around here. I left a home memo for Tom on the VM to let me know if he finds any around here cuz it’s been so hot that I think they should be refrigerated. Of course, I’m not stupid and neither is he, but I can’t find them.

I can’t wait to give him his presents. Those two pairs of shorts. And I hope to hell they fit OK.

In 24 hours, I typed up #38 and #16. Cool, huh? I also typed up letters to Tammy and my parents. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll get letters from Bob and Kim. Tomorrow I’ll type them letters, or whenever I get any from them.

We’re expecting lots of stuff in the mail. Our wedding pictures, the ribbons, work for me, and other stuff. I just can’t remember all we’re expecting, but I know there’s more.

Later…

I just went to set the VCR to tape a movie that looks like it oughta be good. I’ve still got a 4-hour movie to watch. That’ll be good for days, or nights for that matter when I’m so incredibly bored.

I don’t think I’ve written about a certain letter I sent to both my parents and Tammy right before we left for Vegas, so I may as well write about it now. In the letter, I mentioned how they’ve helped me financially, were there for me to talk to (especially Tammy), and gave me my dream of Arizona. I said I had one more favor to ask them that was non-material. That is, even though I’m not a rich and famous singer, would they acknowledge me as one in their hearts and minds? Would they put it in writing, I asked, cuz I want to put it in this journal even if their answer isn’t what I want to hear. I haven’t heard about it and I probably never will, but we’ll see.

God, it’s so fucking warm in here! Can’t wait for that other EC!

Andy met that guy Chris. He says he’s not the best-looking guy, but far from the worse and so far they have really hit it off and Andy doesn’t want to judge him only by his looks. Especially cuz he wants a full-time relationship and no longer wants to fling around.

Later…

My hair is so long and so thick. I just wish there was a comfortable bathing cap that would hold all this hair cuz the pool kills it and it’s such a pain.

Boy, Tuesday will be a busy day. We have lots of errands and still lots of things we need and want to do.

I can’t wait till we build Piggy’s cage. I’ve always wanted and thought how neat that’d be to have for every single guinea pig I have ever had. He’ll love it too, I’m sure.

I really hope I get mail tomorrow. I am so anxious for the ribbons to get here. I’m going to have so much fun making all kinds of pictures for my bedroom walls. It’s about time, too. My walls have been the same ever since I moved in here, so they could use a change and a new look.

As of today, I’ve been doing journals for 6 years and 8 months. That’s a long fucking time!

I keep forgetting to read Tom Fran’s letter to Sabrina. Maybe I’ll do that on his birthday on Tuesday.

His parents sent him a check for $37. A dollar for every year. I guess that’s what they do with all the kids every year.

I am so hungry now, so I’m going to break for a bite to eat, then return.

Later…

Yuck! That macaroni and cheese from KFC tasted like shit, then the bottom of the Styrofoam cup it was in fell off, too.

Piggy looks so hot. I’ll bet he is wearing all that fur. I just put the blue ice in. It’s not really ice, though, just this blue plastic thing from the freezer that Tom told me about.

SUNDAY, JUNE 26, 1994
Shortly after 3 PM, Marla, her son, and Andy got here. Timothy was surprisingly calm, obedient, and non-destructive.

Poor Marla’s humongous, but her face and hair look better than the last time I saw her.

During the wedding video playback, Andy was the only one who watched it entirely as Marla was busy bombarding Tom with countless computer-related queries. Andy concurred that both Tom and I appeared larger on video. I have always believed that video makes everyone appear larger unless they’re bone thin.

It was so funny cuz Marla was saying how she used to babysit all of us kids but I was too young to remember. I was barely 2 years old. Marla’s 44, so there’s a huge age difference. She said rather than my mom asking, she’d call up demanding that she babysit us. She said she felt so bad for us kids and seeing mom treat the dogs like gold and us like dirt. She said it took a whole 24 hours or so to get us laughing and that she’d constantly try to praise us and compliment us. She said Ma treated me differently when I was very little cuz she supposedly felt guilty about my ear. Well, she certainly didn’t treat me any differently or any better when I got older. She said she couldn’t stand babysitting us and had to stop cuz she felt so bad for us all.

Andy said Marla said I looked the best she’s ever seen and says I’m in great shape. That’s cool.

Tom did a lot of work on his car today but I guess there’s more work to be done on it to pass emissions.

We discussed building a huge cage for Piggy. One with split levels and places for him to hide. He’d love a huge cage like that.

Gloria was on the American Bandstand, but I haven’t seen it yet, cuz I’m now using that tape to record a 4-hour movie.

Did I mention that Tammy still hasn’t gotten the tape?! What the fuck’s taking so long? I hope she gets it Monday.

SATURDAY, JUNE 25, 1994
I got up at 11:30 today and shortly after noon, Andy called. Andy, Marla and her son will be over soon. I sure hope they’re not here long and that Timothy doesn’t destroy this place. Andy says he’s been pretty good and that he’ll keep a constant eye on him. I hope so, cuz that’s what Kara used to say.

I wonder what’s going on with Kara these days. Did she try to become a cop? Is she in Arizona or did she go back to Michigan?

Later…

Andy just called and they’re going to be an hour late and not get here till 3:00. At 4:40 she’s got to be at the airport. They’ll probably be here for about an hour.

I think I’ll go do some typing now of journal #10, which I began last night.

I’m down to 100 pounds from 104 pounds, so that’s good.

Oh, Tom turned on the mister that’s out on the back patio. It’s really nice and very refreshing. I’ll probably go skinny-dipping tonight at 8:00 when all the bees are gone.

Later…

Andy just called and they’re leaving in 5 minutes, so they’ll be here in 20 minutes.

I just did lots of typing, and God only knows what I’m going to do after they leave. Tom’s going to work on his car and I’ll probably type and listen to music till I go swimming.

We’ve been too busy to fool around and my appetite’s gone up a little, but that’s cuz I’m about 9 days away from my next curse. I’ve been taking care of myself and I can continue to do so till we have more time.

I didn’t get any mail today or Thurs. and Fri. Tammy still hasn’t gotten the tape of our wedding. I hope she gets it soon. Maybe today Nervous got all of Fran’s letters which I mailed him.

I hope Andy and Marla don’t laugh too hard over the video. I’m not in the mood to be embarrassed, even though you get used to it.

What else can I say till their arrival? Nothing, I guess.

FRIDAY, JUNE 24, 1994
Not much happened today, other than the fact that it was incredibly hot. I got 3 letters from Kim and 2 from Bob.

Andy drove over with some money he owed me, and in the car were Marla and her 1-year-old son Timothy who he’d just picked up at the airport. I ran out to the car to get my money and to show Andy the shirt and necklaces I got in Vegas.

Thank fucking God we’re not living in apartments that are connected. They’re all the same out here. Even if I lived next door to where he is now, I’d easily feel his elephant walk.

So, what did I get last night at the mall? Well, I went into a store where everything’s a buck. I got a pearl necklace with a diamond-like stone in a gold-plated oval shape. A pearly hair clip and a silver barrette that’s hard to describe. I also got a $10 skirt (cotton with little flowers) and a blue tank top with a zipper in front for $7.

Lastly, I bought Tom two pairs of shorts for his birthday. One of cotton that’s black, and a blue silk pair. I sure hope they fit and that he likes them.

That night Andy gave me Sabrina’s letters and she and I wrote to him today. He put 2 letters in 1 envelope and a card. Bob has never ever mentioned getting Andy’s letter. He said he never got the letter I sent to an inmate, either. Are those fucking guards, who think they’re God, playing games? Bob says one of them’s running around telling people what he’s in for. Yeah, I believe that.

Males! I love Tom, but I still can’t stand males in general. They’re liars, bullies, and sluts. Although, if I’d been able to get all the women I wanted, once upon a time, I’d have been a slut, too.

Guess I’ll go finish my coffee, then try to sleep. If I can’t sleep, I’ll be back to write more of whatever.

Later…

Actually, I don’t really feel like going to bed yet, so what shall I write about? Well, Fran called 3 times asking about Sabrina. What else is new with him, huh? I died laughing when he said he wanted to marry Sabrina and he asked her if she’d have his child. How can anyone be so desperate as to ask someone they’ve never met to marry them and have their child?

I also got a kick out of his description of the temperatures. He said it goes from “20% to 110%.”

Nervo and Crystal oughta get a royal kick out of his letters. If they read them, and I really hope to hell they do.

I finished typing up #9 and tomorrow I’ll start #10.

So, what’s going on with the package of jewelry Ma said she mailed? And the dishwasher? I know Andy can’t get us anything cuz he’s broke, but I understand that. Plus, he just had to get his brother Gary a b-day present back in MA.

Fran says that anytime from now till Oct. he’ll be moving to Chicopee. Why is he going to move there? What the hell’s in Chicopee for the guy?

I asked him if he’s run into Nervous, but he says no.

Later…

Today’s been a stressful day. First, it was a fucking sauna in here and there’s not much we can do to fix it right now. Poor Tom had a million errands to do as well as to put an up duct in my room and work on his car.

Lastly, about 10 minutes ago, Andy surprised us with a visit with Marla and her son. I hate that and Tom does, too. They’re stopping by tomorrow afternoon, too. They want to see the wedding video. Marla wants to see the house and meet Tom, but she already did a little while ago.

Tammy hasn’t gotten the video yet, but I called Dad and they both said it was very beautiful. Dad said I didn’t look any bigger. Thank God I don’t!

Tom also picked up our rings today and at first, I thought I’d have to bring mine back. It’s a 4¼ and I thought I’d have to get a 4½ cuz it was so tight. It feels more comfortable now. I guess I just had to get used to it.

Later…

I just opened all the files to journals 1-9 and got all the statistics on it. Norah’s story, too.

Tom showed me today that the floppy disk I’m using holds 1.4 megabytes and I’ve used ¾ of it already! When I called Tammy, I said, “Three-quarters of a megabyte!”

She said, “What?”

I said, “I thought you knew a lot about computers.”

She said, “Yeah, right!”

Well, I thought she’d know all about what I was talking about, but since she didn’t I explained it all to her. I told her I typed 9 journals and a story.

THURSDAY, JUNE 23, 1994
Another lovely letter from Fran to Sabrina! It’s 6-7 pages and funny as all hell. I just copied it and I’ll be sending the original copy to Nervous. Crystal still lives there. The other day I figured - what the hell, and called him. He answered and was all set to talk to me till she screamed, “Hang up!” She sure has him wrapped around her finger.

I do have more to write about, such as what I got Tom for his b-day at the mall. I went with Andy. However, I’m really getting tired, so I’ll write another time.

TUESDAY, JUNE 21, 1994
Today and yesterday I mailed 3 envelopes off with forms for home office work. I hope at least one of them amounts to any good.

Last night Andy read me 3 letters to Sabrina that came in 1 envelope. They were hysterical, as usual. When we get together tomorrow night, he’ll give them to me. I hope nothing gets in the way of him picking me up tomorrow, as he’s doing me a huge and important favor.

Tom’s b-day is on the 28th, so I’ll be getting him God knows what.

I finished typing up my story till up to this book. I figure that every 5 journals or so I’ll update it, adding it to its document on the computer. I’ve also printed it out, but I won’t print out any journal stuff. I have 37 pages of it printed. A lot, huh?

Larry called yesterday from a truck stop in Ohio and said maybe he and Larry could come here sometime this summer. He admitted to having numerous affairs, which I figured. He says he doesn’t do it anymore, but I doubt that even though I couldn’t care less. He congratulated me on getting married and then shocked me by saying he always knew I’d succeed in life. How nice. He tells me that my niece Jenny is into all types of dancing, mainly ballet, and will be taking up the flute. That’s cool.

When I casually mentioned Tammy and said how bad I felt for her, he said, “Yeah, I do too, but shit happens. There’s nothing I can do for her.”

He said he was on his way to CT, then on home to MA for a while.

I called Tammy after we hung up, knowing she won’t tell anyone and was beyond getting mad or hurt, and told her of my talk with Larry. She said, “Fine! Fuck it then! I’ve gone for 9 years, so I’ll go another 9 years.” I reminded her she’ll always have a sister and has been compensated with a brother-in-law.

Now I’m going to go do more typing on #9.

MONDAY, JUNE 20, 1994
On the 14th, the day we were to leave, Tom went and took some money out of my account. When he came home he was wondering if I called SS and SSI to appeal my case. Well, I didn’t, but both checks were there for June 1st and 3rd. What a lovely wedding present from the government. It is nice to see that after all those years of them fucking up on me in a bad way, they’ve finally fucked up on me in a good way. They owe it to me and if they try demanding any of it back, they ain’t getting it. Their letters to me did not come certified and I didn’t appeal regardless of that, so it’s their own mistake which I’m not paying for.

Andy was laughing at how I used the government’s money to gamble. Yup, I sure did.

I hope they screw up again in July, and it’s a good thing I didn’t go run and close my account.

We got new videotapes and I finally learned how to video edit! Tom and Andy were right. It is easy.

SUNDAY, JUNE 19, 1994
Boy oh boy, do I have lots and lots of catching up to do in this book! OK, I just looked back at the last entry to see where I left off. I forgot to say that we were lucky enough to be on the top floor (the 28th), and what a view of the castle! We gambled every day and it was sooo much fun, even though we lost about $300. There were thousands of slot machines. They all had so many different designs on them. My favorite slot machine was called Casino Night. It won me 200 quarters 3 times! Lots of 20s, 10s and 4s, too, but like I said, I ended up losing it all. Sometimes we played together and other times we separated. We both only played the slot machines. We didn’t gamble with other people like in blackjack or other games. Some machines didn’t pay off that much, and others had a huge progressive jackpot.

We arrived there at 9 PM, so we weren’t up long. Just long enough to do a little gambling and see some shops and eat dinner. We got up at 6 AM the next morning and went to a really nice breakfast buffet. It was the 15th, of course, the day of the wedding. We pretty much gambled till 2:30 when the limo driver came to pick us up at the hotel. He took us to the courthouse to get the marriage license. First time in a very long time with me being in a courthouse where I wasn’t in any trouble. The clerk there asked me if “Lin” was spelled right. I was like, no! I don’t know how to spell my own middle name.

On the way to the Las Vegas Garden Wedding Chapel, I saw the famous lighted cowgirl and cowboy. So, at the wedding chapel, which was gorgeous, I wasn’t at all nervous till the ceremony started. I wore that royal blue tank top/shorts (1 piece) that looks like it’s a skirt, my black pumps, the earrings Ma sent me and one of the beautiful necklaces I bought. I had my hair down and wore makeup.

Tom wore black sneakers only because they were black so you couldn’t see them in detail, so it didn’t look funny. Also, black slacks and his new light blue dress shirt we got him before we left.

I had a bouquet of silk flowers instead of real ones. That’s better cuz real ones would die off in a day and bother my allergies.

The minister went over the ceremony with us first and we let him know we wanted a civil one and not a religious one. Also, no saying that I agree to “obey” him.

So, they took pictures and videotaped the little ceremony we had. I’m sending my sister and parents a copy, but I’m so embarrassed! Tom, on the other hand, looked great and was so calm. I was shaking like Nervous and looked so bow-legged and so chunky.

I hope the pictures come out well. Today Tom got video mailers, so I’ll mail them their copies tomorrow. And also, I’m sending Kim back her two tapes of those funny answering machine messages.

So anyway, after the wedding, we got back to the hotel at 4 PM and called Tammy and my parents. They were very happy for us. Then, we fooled around for an hour or so, then we went to an old-fashioned and ugly place for prime rib dinners. The prime rib was great, though. After dinner, we gambled till we crashed which was early. At 4 AM Tom woke me up when he turned the light on in the bathroom. I was beat, but I got up anyway.

We went for breakfast across the way at the MGM Grand, and oh my God! That place was awesome, even though it was dead. Tom said he went to other nearby hotels/casinos without me and they were also dead. At the MGM there was a huge display of Dorothy and The Wizard of Oz and all the other characters with props that go with the movie. There were also lasers and a sound machine that made thunder and lightning. The next time we go there, we’d maybe like to stay at the MGM Grand, The Pyramid, Luxor, Tropicana, or wherever.

Anyway, it was just all so gorgeous inside and outside. I really wished we had a camera, but we hope to the next time around. If they blew Phoenix off the map, I’d definitely move to Vegas.

The pen I’m now writing with came from the room. I got other little things here and there too, from the room. Cups, a pad, soap, lotion, etc.

So our last day there, the 16th, we pretty much gambled till we left for the airport. We got back to the house at 11 PM, and yes, Tom carried me over the threshold. Almost forgot, though.

When I got back there were 3 letters from Bob. One had a letter from his friend Brian in it. It was nice, and I wrote them both back. I got 2-3 more letters from him (Bob) over the next two days as well.

I called Tammy and my parents. Dad has the Father’s Day banner across their entertainment center. Cool. I wasn’t sure if he’d like it. He said Larry tried calling but got no answer. Oh well, he’ll try again I’m sure. I talked to Andy too, of course.

I tried to take an NPN envelope, put his name over the address on it and send it to him, but I guess he never got it. I don’t think Bob got Andy’s letter or a few I sent him, and Andy says he’s gotten no letters yet for Sabrina.

Andy didn’t come over while we were away, but the mail was fine and so was Piggy.

I wrote to Tammy, my parents, Fran, Bob, Kim and that guy Brian. In the hotel room, there were 3 pieces of stationary and 3 envelopes, so I sent 1 to Tammy & Bill, mom & dad and Andy. The second day I mailed postcards to Andy, Kim, Bob, Fran, my parents, Tammy & Bill and 1 for the girls.

Mom and dad mentioned sending us a portable dishwasher, but I haven’t heard anything about it yet, so we’ll just have to wait and see. I think she said something about sending jewelry, too.

Oh! I forgot to mention a few other things. I got a tie-dye shirt with fringes on it that says, Excalibur Hotel/Casino/Las Vegas. I also got a really nice barrette with colored glass stones in it and 3 necklaces. One has gold with colored glass stones, another has colored beads on a black string, and the last one has one dice on a black string.

When we got back and went food shopping, I wore the shirt and the dice necklace. I’m sure everyone could tell I’d just been in Vegas.

I realized a very stupid mistake I’ve been making all my life and a million times throughout my journals. That is that I’ve been spelling Los Angeles as Las Angeles, and I of all people should’ve known better. It only makes sense since Angeles ends with a masculine tense, and therefore it has to be Los and not Las.

Later…

I just got off the phone with Andy a little while ago who may have a promising relationship with a guy named Chris.

Anyway, now I can update on all that’s happened since returning from Never Never Land. First of all, it’s the other way around now, Tom’s been pretty horny and I haven’t. I’m sure I’ll pick up my appetite, though, as it comes and goes. I only hope it doesn’t pick up when his is down.

I just took BOL #10 and put in the ticket that they put on my luggage in CT when I came here, my Vegas ticket and both of our boarding passes.

The whole trip went great as far as my asthma. Also, we had no fights. We haven’t had any for a while, which is very nice. The only thing I felt the bulk of the time in Vegas was tired. Very tired. When we got back we crashed within two hours.

From Thursday to today, we swam, barbecued, went food shopping, did computer work and other odds and ends around here. He picked up plastic office folder files to sort out papers which we did. We went through all the mail I got for at-home work and tomorrow I’ll be sending one out.

He got a couple of computer books and a $50 portable CD/cassette player, so we can listen to CDs in other rooms.

We sent away for colored ribbons which will be a lot cheaper. I ordered 50 stamps through the mail.

THURSDAY, JUNE 16, 1994
Hey, I’m in Vegas!!! I am so overwhelmed with this place and all that’s gone on here. Where do I start? I guess I should start at the beginning. The whole thing will take many pages and I may not finish till after I return to Phoenix.

Later…

I stopped writing up above cuz Tom had come into the room and then we went off to do things all day.

In an hour we’re leaving for the airport. I guess now is a good time to start writing all about my fairytale trip. Andy picked us up and brought us to the airport. He gave me 4 quarters to gamble with.

At the airport, I was pretty emotional for two reasons. One’s that it was a wonderful trip down memory lane. The other’s cuz another childhood dream was about to come true. The airport was pretty dead and the flight was, too. I got a window seat and it was great flying. The shortest flight of my life, though, that’s for sure.

When we got to the airport we came to this hotel, The Ex-Caliber, with 4 other people in a limo. You check in on the 1st floor where all the casinos and slot machines are. All the bright lights were like - wow! Finally, everything that was just a fantasy was a reality. All those things I only saw in visions, magazines, and on TV, I was seeing in person. We came right up to the room which was actually kind of ugly, but suitable enough for us. The bathroom’s big. The building and uniforms of the people who work here are ugly. They’re all in a medieval theme.

TUESDAY, JUNE 14, 1994
Well, today’s the day! We’ll be in Vegas in about 14-15 hours! I will be very very tired, though. I’ve been up since 11:15 last night. I have lots and lots to write about, but I’ll probably save it for the trip. I’m gonna spend most of the day laying down and I’m gonna go do that now.

SUNDAY, JUNE 12, 1994
God answered my prayers (I think) once again. Yesterday I slept from 1 PM - 8 PM. Miraculously, but thankfully I fell asleep at 11:30 last night and slept till 3:15 AM. This gives me the gusto to go out today. We’ll be leaving real soon to go look at rings and do some other shopping. I’ll write about that after we return from wherever.

I saw that 4-hour movie. She looked great. There were only a few scenes where her hair looked pitiful and she wore these geeky hats. For the most part, her hair and face looked really hot. Her hair was a few inches below her shoulders. Her clothes were very conservative, though. Can’t wait to print out pictures from this movie.

Tom and I went swimming. We also called Tammy who congratulated Tom, welcomed him to the family and said she loved him to death, even though she’s never met him.

Right before we go, I’m going to shave and do my nails. My nails need serious filing and polishing. We have ideas about what we’re going to wear. Tom will probably wear his black slacks and we’ll get him a shirt today. I’ll probably wear my all royal blue, tank top/shorts thing that looks like it’s really a skirt cuz it’s fuller from the waist down. The top has spaghetti straps. It’s my favorite that I bought when I was working at Favors.

SATURDAY, JUNE 11, 1994
Only about 14 more hours to go before I see that 4-hour movie. Or tape it, at least. I sure hope her hair’s not as short in this one as it was in Magic Moments.

Got one Bob letter today and that’s about all that’s happening right now. I’m going to go do more typing.

Later…

Tom just got up a little while ago and we just put stuff in the pool to kill algae. The water was turning green.

I also took that plant clipping I cut to root inside. The water won’t evaporate as quickly in here. It’s in the same cup in the living room window.

Tom doesn’t usually work on Saturdays, but he’s going in today for some overtime. He’ll be home at 4:00 or 5:00, rather than close to 7:00.

I’ve got a tape ready to record that movie. I really wish I could get every movie she was ever in and edit with two VCRs like Andy does. Both he and Tom say it’s easy. If I could do it, I edit out everyone else, run her altogether, cuz it’d be a whole lot easier to print pictures out that way. I’m also hoping The Guardian will be on again soon enough, so I can tape it, cuz the tape I bought of it has missing parts that were on TV.

So, how many letters will I get today?

Did I mention I made a 5-page banner for my dad? It says - Happy Father’s Day, With Love, From Jodi Lin. I hope he likes it. I’ll send it out Monday.

Yes, they’ve definitely gone to Idaho next door. It’s been so quiet and so peaceful here. So much more so and I love it. It’s as quiet as it was when I first started hanging out here last July. Mid-May to mid-September oughta be the quietest. I wish the weather was like it is from June-August, all year round. Next winter, though, come to think of it, will be much quieter. I mean, it should be, and I’ll write why it should be after I go grab a smoke.

Later…

Well, I did more than grab a smoke. I tried to call Tammy, but there was no answer. I did talk to Ma, though, and she said to call collect from Vegas when we’re married. She’s also sending me some jewelry and wants a picture of us she can frame.

OK - so why do I feel next winter will be quieter? Cuz the heavy metaller oughta be gone, and if not, he won’t be playing so loud since we had our little talk. Also, next door was the noisiest when they moved in, so since they’re all moved in, they should be quieter. I know, though, that from September-May there’ll be some ball playing and noise out back when they’ve got their door open. It’d still be nice if they decided to up and leave and an elderly couple with no kids, grandkids and very little company moved in. Or a guy like Tom or a woman like me. Anyone who hates kids and company. Dean, next door, is from here. Thank God Lenore’s not from here, cuz then where would she and the kids go?

Lastly, I have the fan as a wonderful weapon against being woken up. Just the mail going in the mail slot alone would wake me up with no fan. I definitely don’t miss sleeping with the radio on. Certain commercials can wake me up. Plus, I used to hate trying to fall asleep to either commercials or songs I didn’t like.

Wow! I’m already halfway through this book and I began it only 12 days ago. Let’s see… what else can I write about? I am in a writing mood, but I’m running out of things to discuss. Well, my period’s over. Lucky me.

I watched Halloween 5 which I taped. It was so-so. I’ve seen so many of those movies now that they’re so predictable and boring. Like eating the same food and wearing the same clothes every day.

I saw on 20/20 a segment on cosmetic tattooing. Now if I had the money, knew I’d like the results, and would have no allergic reactions, I’d love to have that done. It’d be great to have makeup forever that never smudges or fades.

No messages from Andy. Wonder what he’s up to? Did he get Sabrina’s letter yet? I worked on his letter last night, but I won’t do any more of it till we get a color ribbon and I start printing out stuff.

Well, I guess that’s all for now. It’s coffee time now.

Later…

Rather than get any coffee yet, I was playing with the pig. I swing my hand real fast and it gets him to jump, just like it used to do with my cat. Yup, he’s a playful one. When I take him outside and sit him down next to me, he jumps up on my lap.

Another thing I like about these kinds of pens is that I can look and see how much ink there is left.

I’m going to go set the timer on the VCR before I forget.

FRIDAY, JUNE 10, 1994
Not much to update on now.

Got 3 Bob letters today and now I’m going to go continue typing my story.

So far I have about 200 letters in all. 125 from Bob, 4 from Mom, 4 from Lisa, 5 from Alex, 52 from Kim, 7 from Dad, 2 from Fran, 10 from Andy, 10 from Tammy, and 1 each from Nervous, Brenda, Brian, Donald, David and Tara.

THURSDAY, JUNE 9, 1994
Yeah! Been here for two years! Well, almost. It’s still “Free Year’s Eve.” It’s almost 5 AM ET and my flight didn’t leave till 4:30 PM. I arrived here at 10:30 PM which was 7:30 PM ET.

Got a letter yesterday from Alex. How funny, cuz the night before, I was wondering if I’d ever hear from him again.

I’m also happy to say that I scanned the hell out of next week’s TV guide and Sat. Norah will be in another 4-hour movie called Hold the Dream. That movie A Woman of Substance was a 6-hour movie, I noticed.

So now I know of 6 movies she’s in. The Guardian, Hold The Dream, Nates & Hayes, Magic Moments, A Woman of Substance and Local Hero. I’ve only seen all of #’s 1 and 3. Seen 1 hour of #4. Will see all of #2. Hope to hell I eventually see all of #’s 4, 5 and 6. And anything else that may exist with her in it.

Tom asked me to type up my stories so he doesn’t have to keep jumping from journal to journal. How sweet of him. Well, I guess I may as well go start that now. I looked back through my journals and got a pretty good idea of where it starts.

Later…

Tom’s up now working on the computer till it’s time for him to shower and take off for work.

I made two sandwiches for him right before he got up.

Last night I had to wake him up. Supposedly it was only a baby, but it was still a huge spider I spotted on the living room ceiling. They come in at night through the front door. When we bombed we never really took care of the outside. After Tom leaves I’m going to spray the hell out of the front and back doors. I’ll go outside, close the door behind me and spray like hell.

I also have to call for a refill on my inhalers.

I began typing up my story. I’m glad Tom suggested it after all. This allows me to be able to touch up things, change things, add things. It begins in #58 and is also in #’s 60, 61, 62, 64, 66 & 67.

The weather line says today it’ll be 106º, then for Sat. and Sun. it will be 105º.

Since I got no letters yesterday from Bob and Kim, I may very well get mail from them today. From Bob especially.

I wonder if I’ll ever hear from Cassandra?

Andy hasn’t mentioned getting a letter yet from Fran to Sabrina.

Fran tried to call collect 4 times yesterday, I heard on the VM. I’ll never accept a collect call from him. I called him back, and it was his usual paranoia about Sabrina dumping him. The boy is so fucked. Anyway, I know he’s losing his phone real soon, but I’ll never talk again to him by phone unless he calls me. Calls direct. I hope he does lose his phone fast enough. That oughta make him write more. It’ll spin-off his paranoia some more, so he’ll want to write.

I really haven’t been working on Andy’s letter lately. Only once when I first began it. I really wanted to wait till I got that color ribbon and printed out pictures first.

I was out back a little while ago and the pool water feels warmer than the air. I wonder what the deal is with the Jacuzzi thermometer? I can’t even read it. It’s all yellowish.

I am starting to get so tired now, but I have to stay up till at least 8:30 to call in my refills. Actually, I really want to stay up as late as I can. Bye for now.

Later…

Tom’s in the shower now and I am sooo dead tired. Already?! Well, then again, I’ve been up since 3:30 yesterday afternoon and I had only slept 6 hours. Then I got my period.

Yuck! I see cobwebs on my lampshade. I’d better go take care of it before it builds up into a really serious mess that I know I’m not going to want to deal with.

Going to go listen to music after that and I’ll probably write again tomorrow. I’m too beat to do any more right now. Plus, I can’t think of anything else to say right now.

Be back tomorrow!

TUESDAY, JUNE 7, 1994
Gloria’s going on the Arsenio Hall show now, so I’m taping it.

Boy, was I pissed yesterday! I was browsing through the TV guide and noticed I missed another movie with Norah in it. Tom said not to worry though, cuz this movie is on a lot and it should be repeated within a month. Let’s hope so. In the meantime, every new TV guide we get, I’ll thoroughly check.

I can’t fucking wait till we go to Vegas! The tickets came today. Delta Airlines. Same one I flew out here on.

I typed letters to Kim and Bob and soon I’ll do one for Fran. After Sabrina gets her letter.

Still no messages on Prodigy from Tammy or Marla.

Tom barbecued hamburgers and hotdogs for us earlier. They came out yummy.

Did I mention that I edited Norah? Well, I did.

Got my period tonight, two days early, but it’s not really a period yet. Just dark spotting.

Let’s see…what else can I tell you that I’ve forgotten to tell? Nothing I can think of, so I guess I’ll do some editing or typing. Or both.

Oh yeah - Tom got Andy a spare key. So, if he wants to, he can check on Piggy while we’re gone and make sure the mail doesn’t get all jammed up. This time, though, I hope Andy doesn’t leave his key in the Glendale library.

MONDAY, JUNE 6, 1994
Lots of things happened today. Mom and dad called and Larry was there too, so we spoke.

Today’s Ma’s b-day and she says she got my card and not to bother calling tomorrow cuz she’ll be out.

I finally got to meet Tom’s parents today. They were very nice and Marjorie even gave me a beautiful plant that I hung up out back.

Earlier I recorded that 1-hour of the movie Magic Moments and The Guardian onto an audiotape. I edited most of it and it sounds pretty cool.

I’ve got more to write about, but I’m sort of beat. I’ll write tomorrow and expand on more subjects. For now, I’m going to try to go to bed.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5, 1994
Not that much happened yesterday, but both Fran and Andy got letters from Bob. Andy read me the 6-page letter he’s sending Bob. I doubt Fran will write Bob back, but he asked me to ask Bob if he knows a Dennis C who’s supposedly in some jail on a drug charge. Fran also told me that Sabrina’s about to get her 2nd letter.

I swam today. Tom swam a bit too, and brought over a grill from his parent’s house.

Tom and I began to film the signing video and we had some fun, too.

I discovered another movie Norah’s in called Magic Moments. I only could tape an hour of it so I hope it’ll be on again soon. Tomorrow I’ll also tape her in Nates & Hayes, an incredibly stupid movie, but why not? I hope The Guardian comes on again soon so I can tape it to get parts taken out of the unedited one. Her hair was way too short in Magic Moments. Shorter than I’d ever seen it before, just barely touching her shoulders. In The Guardian, it’s just below her shoulders and in Nates & Hayes, it’s almost to the middle of her back. I wonder what other movies are still out there that I don’t know about yet?

Well, anyway, I can’t sleep yet, so I’ll go watch TV.

Oh - almost forgot. Got a letter from Kim and one from Bob. Today I began BOL #10!

FRIDAY, JUNE 3, 1994
I watched a little TV just now and now I think I will do some editing after all. I listened to music and did the dishes, too. It’s nice to know we’ll have a dishwasher in less than a month.

I just had to stick some Ambosol on my back lower wisdom tooth. On the side that was never pulled. It hurt when I went to eat a piece of bread and it’s throbbing. I sure hope I won’t have to deal with that now.

So, is all this exercise paying off? No. I’m up to a 26” waist again and 103-104 pounds. I give up. I really feel my thin days are over. I’m just not meant to be thin anymore and I’m tired of trying to change myself. Tired of trying to be what I’m not and it just isn’t in me to work out for hours and hours every day. I feel that for some reason or another, I’m meant to get fat. Why? I don’t know, but right after I eat, I feel like I’m still hungry and haven’t eaten in years. To hell with trying to stay thin. It’s just too hard and I can’t change what’s fated to be. I expect to be no less than 110 by September 1st. It’s like my weight is just crying and begging to go up, so I’m letting it go now. It’s free to go wherever it wants. At my height 104 looks like 114, but I can’t hang on anymore and keep my weight where it is now. I can’t keep pressuring myself and trying to be what my body just isn’t.

Later…

Tom got home early today. He’s watching basketball now and later we’re going to have some fun.

We think they have gone to Idaho cuz the van hasn’t been there. Only one car. Any kids I’ve heard have been few and far between and they’re definitely not next door. Well, if they truly have gone, good riddance to them for a few months.

Kim called at 3 PM or so, saying she got a letter from Bob with a warning. A warning letter she’s keeping, in case she ever has to show it to the police to show he’s not involved. I guess they’re going to be making some changes there that have the inmates upset. He was afraid there might be a riot. We’ll just have to wait and see and Kim’s going to be seeing him real soon. Tom said that in minimum security prisons, there usually aren’t any riots. Let’s hope he’s right, and he usually is.

I saw a really weird-looking cloud earlier that looked like a mini funnel cloud.

I guess that’s all for now. I’ll be doing my usual stuff tonight. You know, music, TV, and typing.

Later…

Tom’s watching the end of the basketball game.

I forgot to mention calling Becky today who’s 7. Bill answered at first and thought I was Sue, Tammy’s girlfriend. No wonder, he sounded so unusually friendly. I don’t think the guy really ever liked me too much, but it’s pretty mutual.

Sarah, I still can’t understand, but Lisa said she didn’t get some solos she tried out for. That happens. It happened to me too.

I’ve got to get my dad a Father’s Day card, among other things we forgot to get at the grocery store. I always forget something.

THURSDAY, JUNE 2, 1994
Tom will be home soon, so I’ll write for now. Someone tried to call while I was shaving, but I didn’t get to the phone in time. They left no message.

Today I vacuumed, folded Tom’s clothes, washed my clothes, made Tom’s bed, watched TV, listened to music, typed, sang, and went swimming.

Got no mail today. That’s all there is to tell for now, I guess. I think now I’m going to write letters to Bob and Kim. Saturday we’ll be getting a black ribbon.

Later…

Tom brought home a new box of computer paper and a new black ribbon. I went to print out a picture, but it came out way too dark. I’ll just wait till we get a color one.

I’m printing out a letter to Kim now and tomorrow I may do one for Fran. I hope to get mail tomorrow so I can finish BOL #9. After Kim’s letter’s done, I’ll go listen to music.

Tomorrow’s Becky’s birthday so I’ll call there at some point.

Later…

I decided not to listen to music right now. I’m feeling bored and lazy, but not yet ready for bed. Let’s see - what shall I do? There’s always editing, but I don’t feel like doing that now, either. Too lazy to work out, too.

Andy and Sarah left me a message earlier, but I’m sure Andy’s asleep now. If not, he must be close to it.

You can really see some good color coming out on me. None of it’s from lying out, either. Tom was right when he said the best way to do it is slowly, little by little. I have no sun poisoning, either.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1, 1994
Today was a typical day around here. Tom worked. I swam, listened to music and watched TV. I also finished typing #6 and now I’m doing #8.

I just trimmed my bangs and did a good job. It’s a wee bit too short, but that’s OK cuz my hair grows so fast. Especially my bangs.

No mail today, but hopefully tomorrow so I can close out BOL #9.

I’m about to write letters to Kim and Bob. The ribbon in the printer is screwed up, so Saturday we’ll get a new one. Last night I reprinted my journal chart bigger cuz I wanted to be able to see it from the bed. I filled in the blind spot.

Earlier today, I received a children’s magazine using a fake name. I suspect it was a gift from Andy. The magazine is offering over 150 stickers for free upon subscription, so I decided to fill out the form and selected the “bill me” option. I am hopeful that the stickers will arrive as promised, and I can use them to decorate various items.

I don’t know if I’m forgetting to write something in here, but if I am, I’ll write it in later. Now I want to start a letter before my movie is done taping in half an hour.

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Last updated June 09, 2024