Living in a World Without Faith in Living in a World Without Faith

So I guess it starts as it always does... An introduction.

I'm an artist, a photographer, a son, a brother, a military brat, a boyfriend, and a caretaker. I'm a peaceful creature until the wrong strings are pulled. Then again, so is a gorilla. I'm a "cut the bullshit, let's get this job done" type of worker. I'd rather do the job right the first time, than do the job fast and have to do it again later.

I'm 36 and I'm in a long and grueling battle for disability. My ailments? I'd fill the page. The battle for a decision in my favor is due to the fact that individually my injuries aren't that drastic. But combined, they cause quite a bit of distraction and discomfort. They don't see it in that way though. "You don't need surgery, so it can't be that bad." They say. Another issue is that I don't express my pain they way they think I should. I've lived with back pain alone since I was a kid, I think I've learned how to cover it up. It doesn't hurt any less if I piss and moan about it, so why piss and moan about it. I know my limits, and I try to stay within the boundaries of "use it or lose it" and "try not to make things worse, superman".

I've discovered my lack of "faith" within the last ten years and it seems the more I research the different types of spirituality, the less I believe in any of it. And it seems the less I believe in any of it, the further I lean towards a more primal way of thinking. It started with the thought of a "great and powerful being" watching over us and punishing us if we didn't abide by their specific set of standards and rules. From there it eventually drifted toward the concept of "love" and how it's some great and powerful force. I don't believe in any of it.

I believe that we're animals, not unlike any other. We have our primal urges and instincts. Not unlike other species on this planet, we're facing down the barrel of a gun when overpopulated. We see it now, though most refuse to believe it. When a dominant species becomes overpopulated and resources become scarce or sour, they begin to devour the weaker of their kind to benefit the species as a whole. It's just a matter of time before the trigger's pulled.

I guess that's it for now. There's loads to do and not enough time to do it. So I suppose I'll leave you with the words of the great Vera Lynn and some of my work...

We'll meet again, Don't know where,don't know when, But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day

Note: The image on this page is a copyright of D.J. Watkins/DJW Shutterworks. If you don't want your soul and/or savings devoured by demonic ambulance hounds, please don't steal it and call it your own.