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Page 123 of 127

Hi so i'm sill here. I've been packing which i'm near done w/. i'm moving Tues. I haven't gone anywhere in days. I sleep all damn day. my parents have pretty much given up. my mom's like 'well ...

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This is different from the usual. Usually even if I can’t think of the word er. I mean. I know what it is but it doesn’t like. I can’t actually verbalise it. it gets lost. i.e. i’m talking about ...

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All my life I've been nocturnal. apparently. I started noticing it when I was 13. i'd be up at night when others wouldn't. and up until just now I thought it was just insomnia. well sometimes i...

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and no 'cookies' isn't a euphanism for anything. [I don't recommend lighting cookies btw. like, w/ a light.er. as a non practicing stoner I refer to lighters as 'lights']. Ok so on the news rec...

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Yeah so like I stated previously i'm back from my host home overnight thingy. it was. um good. She's a perfectly nice lady I just feel. like she came on too strong. She got that my mom's has nev...

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yeah so i'm back from my overnight.

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yeah since I left my place back in May I've only been home twice. since again my mom's isn't home and never has been. oh and my place is. So in Nov. I went back to my place. And then a few wks...

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so in other. irrelevant news. signs. Um so. ever since I met Evan 2 yrs. ago this June [it must've been June cause there were roses growing outside of the bar] [and then we didn't see each othe...

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since I mentioned her in a recent prior entry. She. was a friend of mine in elementary school. she was beautiful oh god so pretty. and nice and a good person. She was also the 1st person to emo...

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As put. This is a delayed entry. So. I had sex. last yr. er, kindof. [I know how can you 'kindof' have sex? you either did or you didn't]. ok fine lol. So I almost did. completely consensual, ...

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To answer a recent noter's q. um. I'm recovering from the Karlye thing. [ok so back in Sept. I found out that my friend Karlye had. well um she's not w/ us anymore. ..............and i'm 9 yrs. ...

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well actually something did happen i'm just not sure if it's bc of what happened that I've been feeling this way. um. [btw. no I wasn't sexually traumatised again]. um. I've been scared. like m...

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yeah so i'd typed up most of this entry about 2 hrs. ago [3 a.m. atm] and then my computer shut down and deleted it. so. So this is something I've A: been avoiding writing/thinking about and 2: ...

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yeah so Sun. night to Mon. I'm overnighting at a host home provider's house. I probably won't have my computer w/ me and my phone doesn't have internet activated on it, so. if you don't hear fro...

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Yeah so like I put it's Venus. and it's Valentine's Day so that's fitting. Yesterday was Mars. no i'm not being weird it has to do w/ the days of the week. It's also the 15th? ann. of eve ensler...

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Thank you. <3

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I don't like mirrors. which has nothing to do w/ my ED. no I just don't like big upright reflections. No but uh. the mirror in my bathroom at my mom's is a shelf divided into 2. cause like there...

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First off, thank you for taking the time to leave those notes. Secondly, that's what I would've told someone if the situation were reversed and I saw an entry like that. like 'hey i'm here good ...

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right so as put. and the reason. I thinkfeel I don't deserve anything is bc. I put people through hell. I've put my ex through hell w/ my drinking I've put my parents through hell w/ how tenacio...

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ya know. I find myself thinking that lately. like whenever I can feel my bones or i'm dizzy or something. 'it shouldn't be like this' [bc a: i'm 26 *amn yrs old and I shouldn't have this fatal di...

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well actually i'm not drunk. i'm sober. I haven't had a drink in almost a wk. um. it's 4:25 a.m. here [CO] atm on Wed. I remember wwhen I couldn't even go a day. and I remember going 3 months an...

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so as put. yeah yesterday morning [by which I mean after 1 a.m. since it's called midnight for a reason. ok] they came back. for the first time in like forever. well this is new. for the past ...

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So self destruction is interesting. I'm the kindof person who holds back. People who don't bother me. [well it's nott so much the people as the fact that they don't]. I'm just not that comfort...

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So I re-read the chapter that has the bit in it about abortion - actually it's 2 chapters - in a fanfic i'm writing. and it's not dark. the chapters before it deal with abuse and drinking. I do...

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um. so i'm going to look at 1 more place 1st. 2: then i'm going to start packing. sat. the 15th. 3: then i'm going to overnight at each of the 3 places weekly 4: once I've decided on a place ...

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