littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,132
Page 162 of 206
make America great for once in poetry
The nine scariest words in the English language are “I’m from a corporation and I’m here to help” to use the language of the enemy. Let’s shrink the power of corporate America so sma...
1231 in idea barrages
1.) Jokey Smurf is suspected of the terrorist bombing of Papa Smurf with an improvised celebratory device. Mr. Smurf remains at tiny. 2.) Star Wars The Force Awakens except with 90s alt-rocker Po...
1230 in idea barrages
1.) If the theme of your prom is anti-hipster, pin flowers made out of bread to your dates, call them Gluteneers. 2.) I’m just a “Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and Chill” man in a “Netflix and Chi...
panic attack progression in poetry
I will not be ruled by fear. When I am I’m one-tenth of myself. I’ll be ruled by joy even if there are those who’d get more joy of their own from my fear. And I deserve better t...
1229 in idea barrages
1.) If a Stormtrooper landed on a bed of peanut noodles, it’d be a Pad Thai TIE pad. 2.) If the warm-up to your set is someone shooting ping-pong balls out of their ass or vadge, that’s an openin...
the tall girl in poetry
introduce me to the tall girls give my number to the tall girls make me sound awesome to the tall girls I’m too cowardly to do it myself I’ve never dated the tall girls sometimes I’m too ...
1228 in idea barrages
1.) The difference between the exceptional and the plain ol’ exceptions is subtle and will be at best born out over time, if at all. 2.) Dear England, please stop pretending to pronounce “Zebra” ...
ode to an imaginary facebook profile in poetry
Perrin or Baden or Umlat or Tetiham or whatever the hell your name is I’m sorry if you actually were real I know you weren’t actually real but I am a recovering Catholic you see I ha...
1227 in idea barrages
1.) Open up a pro-wrestling themed restaurant called Grapplebees. 2.) Dog knocked over the tree. Isn’t it supposed to be the cats that do that? 3.) Put creative effort into decorating your front ...
barroxing day in idea barrages
1.) Merry Holiday, friends. It’s been a weird rough 2015. Thanks for enduring my gag writing practice here, in some other life I’m on a writing staff on a hit show and it keeps bleeding into this...
merry barragemas in idea barrages
1.) Rudolph and Frosty each get a vote in the yearly Hip-Hop Awards because they’re both Rankin-Bass. 2.) Refer to Presbyterians as “prezbos”. For example, “oh that Suzie Johnson, I hear she’s a ...
barragemas eve in idea barrages
1.) Ahab aimed at its mouth with a gun, he fought the maw and the maw won, he fought the maw and the maw won… 2.) Nightmare about the interplay of creation & entropy analogized thru an infini...
1223 in idea barrages
1.) Turns out Razzles are neither candy NOR gum. Razzles are a legume. 2.) Having your disputes settled by ents is binding arbortration. 3.) When I’m a pin-up model for my barrel-chested lumberja...
skellig michael, ireland in poetry
on a little island driven there by shame and failure ten million burning suns from nowhere beautiful but empty ruins whose purpose no one can remember desolate and lonely so blue and so ...
1222 in idea barrages
1.) The Santa slash-fic you write will be called “Big Man On Krampus”. 2.) Don’t get too married to your own ideas, that’s how they get inbred. 3.) At the clinic they paged Timothy McVeigh over t...
I’ve never been to Wichita but I take it on faith that there is a Wichita why would anyone ever make up a Wichita? they only happen by accidental momentum things like Wichita. I’ve go...
1221 in idea barrages
1.) So afraid of living a balanced life, the cowardly ion. 2.) Those randos in your facebook requests who don’t know anyone you know, they’re time-traveling fans of yours, not scammers. 3.) Take ...
1220 in idea barrages
1.) I’ve never gotten sick at a Taco Bell but it was only tonight that I realized that means I have superhuman powers. Stomach powers. 2.) Disguise your political protest as some kind of fan even...
1219 in idea barrages
1.) If you ever become a youtube star, I only ask that your recurring first line in every video is “Catchphrase, everybody!” 2.) MRA and MRSA are only one letter apart. There are no coincidences....
by george (a christmas story) in poetry
there’s a little bit of snow in the air/melting on the ground when it gets there we’re just a little bit of snow in the air/melting on the ground when we get there like George Bailey ...
compassion universe in poetry
the good news is the longer we go without destroying ourselves the more time we have to figure out how to love each other all the good news is while the deck may well be stacked ag...
1218 in idea barrages
1.) Take pictures of your normal cat doing normal cat things. Caption them: “Normal Cat etc etc”. Start a counter-meme. 2.) Gyro Gearloose shrinks Huey Dewey & Louie down to perform Scrooge’s...
unmanifest destiny in poetry
being too sure of things it hardens you up inside it leaves you ossified hanging onto the assumed and yet also unverified it makes you old it wears you out so the fou...
1217 in idea barrages
1.) Video game sound designers don’t use voice actors for injured grunts they just record the sounds of their first poop of the day. 2.) The more you give into the grammar and spellings of textin...
we are all sandy hook in poetry
There’s nothing more toxic to the progress of a civil society than the idea we can just opt-out of it hiding behind weapons faith or loopholes that we can take the benefits we received from...
