Restructure in Operation Boss Up

I used Mel Robbins 5 second rule to launch my ass out of bed finally. We have a five second window to turn our thoughts into actions before our minds talk us out of it. Countdown from five and then just do it. There is a science to it but I don’t want to get into. I want to restructure all of my habits. It’s a part of my Boss Up Mission. Reimage, relax and next, I need to restructure. I’m working my way down my list and my relationships should be at the top but I just want to be self-centred and selfish right now. There is still more on my list and I’ve put it on the back burner long enough.

It’s my self-care day and I have some time to kill while I let my facemask soak in. While I was learning how to relax without beating myself up for it I learned a couple of things about my body. I know that rest days are important for fitness training and now that I am actually giving my body a couple of days to recover from my workouts I am finally starting to see results. I am starting to feel confident about my body image. I also learned that my skin needs the same downtime. I was using my Dermaroller and PMD every other day or so and when I went a week without them I noticed that the quality of my skin is pretty good. I mean, the acne scars are still there but my complexion is almost flawless. I look contoured with the exception of my facial hair area. I switched brands for my minoxidil and this new one is a perfect fit for me. I am using it on my face to help grow in a beard, as we may or may not know and I’ve been at it for almost a year now with not much to show for it. It’s been a couple of months with this new stuff and it’s really coming in. I am actually experiencing some of the side effects which inspires even more confidence. Mostly just the breakouts. I’ve been using Polysporin to calm that down. It got really bad a couple of weeks ago when I was addicted to my game and I gave up on hygiene.

Yesterday I was just going through the motions a bit after my visit with my mother. She put me in my place on Monday and I don’t want to be mad at her for it so I decided to accept everything that she had to say about my life and my current situations. She is not wrong. I do need to “boss up” and get a move on with my life. I want to restructure a lot of my habits, one of which is the habit of worrying. I do agree with Mel Robbin’s belief that worrying is just a habit because I know that is something that I can learn how to control. I want to use her five-second rule to create a new habit of shutting off those worrying thoughts. Those thoughts that stop me from trying.

A song came on yesterday that I left on loop. I can feel the heartache in it and it inspired me to paint. That’s how I used to purge my feelings. I would get lost in my own world for hours and just pour it all out on a canvas. There is a lot of emotions when I create something because it goes through stages and I always have to fight with it and it feels like it is going nowhere until it finally does. Then I just feel so light and amazing after. I name my pieces after the songs I leave on repeat during that process. Thus, I already know the name of my next piece. Only Love Can Hurt Like This

I am aiming to paint it this evening. I got to take inventory of my supplies. I have to re-up my groceries, yet again, so I will grab whatever I need from Michael’s on my way back… and some wine. I don’t paint sober lol.